Cook It and Eat It

In general, all crab cakes you get at restaurants are lame unless you are in Maryland. Some might say that other areas can produce decent crab cakes, but they are mistaken.

If you want crab cakes that are good and you don't want to go out to eat at a good restaurant in Maryland, then I suggest you do the following:

1. Gather ingredients
   • One pound of jumbo lump crab meat
   • A couple of large sweet onions
   • Two eggs
   • Mayonaise
   • Tarragon
   • Old Bay seasoning
   • Salt
   • Pepper
   • A couple of handfuls of breadcrumbs
   • Chives or parsley if you want to add a little greenery
   • Some cooking oil - I typically use something light

2. Prepare the ingredients
   • Chop up the onions
   • Take the crabmeat out of the fridge and drain it
   • Put some oil in a pan and cook the onions until they are translucent
   • Remove the onions from the heat and let them cool

3. Take a short break and congratulate yourself for stepping up to the plate and making your own crabcakes.
   

   
   You need to make sure that the onions are cool enough to not cook the eggs when you mix them together.
   

4. Continue
   • Put the onions in a bowl.
   • Remove the shells from two eggs and put the non-shell part in the bowl with the onions.
   • Put mayo in the bowl. Try maybe...half a cup?
   • Put some Old Bay in the bowl. Try maybe…one teaspoon?
   • Throw a couple of handfuls of breadcrumbs in the bowl.
   • Throw in some chopped chives or parsley in for more color.
     

     
     The eggs and the breadcrumbs are in there to help glue things together. I like to use very few breadcrumbs.
     

     Aside: The amount of breadcrumbs is, in my opinion,one major factor that separates good crabcakes from lame ones. Lame crabcakes have loads of breadcrumbs. Good crabcakes have very few if any.

   • Shake some salt and pepper over the open top of the bowl.
   • Throw some tarragon in the bowl. Make sure it's cut up small. I use dried, crushed stuff out of a spice bottle. You don't need much. It goes a long way. Maybe a teaspoon?
   • Mix all the stuff in the bowl up real good like. It should be kinda pasty, but not so thick that you can mold it into action figures.
     
     What? Is that weird?
     
      
   • Now, gently mix in the crabmeat. You want to mix everything together, but you don't want to de-lump the crabmeat.
      
     Mashing the crabmeat into stringy little fibers is another issue I have with lame crab cakes.
      
     
5. Now you have a decision to make: Bake, Broil, or Deep Fry?
    
   I've done them all and I suggest you roll with baking if you're not completely confident in your skilz. Broiling can end in charred mayonnaise bricks and frying can end in soggy crab cakes and third degree burns. 
    
   • So preheat the oven to something like 350 or so.
   • Make neat little crab cakes on a cookie sheet or a baking dish. You can do this with your hands or you can use a spoon if getting crab meat and mayo all over your hands is not enjoyable to you.

     
     If your mixture is too runny to form individual lumps in the dish, then you can add more breadcrumbs to thicken it up.
     

   • Put the baking sheets or dishes (that have the crab cakes on them) in the oven.
   • Wait until they are cooked through. The mayo/egg/onion goo will eventually become a bit stiff. You want to take the crab cakes out when that goo becomes a little stiff but not too stiff.

I don't remember how long it takes. Different temperatures, different cake sizes, and other stuff will make a difference.

Just check them every 10 minutes or so.

Long recipe, but it's totally worth it...